Negativity Doesn’t Have to Ruin Your Life… or Even Your Day
One of the reasons I left the workforce and came online in 2006 was because I wanted to get away from the negativity that was suffocating me and stifling my creativity. The words and actions of those around me caused me to become defensive, anxious, and unhappy. I did finally take full responsibility for everything that was going on around me, but that came after I had left the situations that did not serve my mental health and well-being.
Are Emotional Vampires Draining You Dry?
Negativity takes its toll on our minds as well as our bodies. Is your energy constantly being drained by emotional vampires? The people around us affect how we feel and view the world. There are plenty of reasons why some people may drain your energy more than others. You could be dealing with a narcissist, or someone who complains most of the time.
If you have an emotional vampire draining you dry, it’s time to start protecting your energy. Below, you’ll discover how to recognize the signs of an emotional vampire, and the best ways to protect your energy.
Understanding The Different Types of Emotional Vampires
Emotional vampires come in a variety of forms. They include:
• Constant talkers
• Drama queens
Each type of emotional vampire will leave you feeling tired and deflated after being in their company. Victim emotional vampires are the people who always play the victim, even when they are the perpetrator. Narcissists are only interested in their own thoughts and feelings, while constant talkers drain your mental energy.
Most of us know at least one type of emotional vampire in our lives. Not sure how to identify them? There are a few signs to watch out for…
Tell-Tale Signs You Are Dealing with An Emotional Vampire
There are several tell-tale signs that can help you decide if you’re dealing with an emotional vampire. The main signs to watch out for include:
• You feel mentally exhausted after spending time with them.
• You feel depressed or anxious around them.
• You feel like they are putting you down.
• You turn to comfort eating or drinking alcohol after being around them.
Everyone who encounters an emotional vampire will feel at least one of the things above. You basically don’t feel great when you spend time with them.
Protecting Your Energy by Eliminating the Source of the Negativity
If you are dealing with an emotional vampire, how can you stop them from draining your energy? The good news is there are strategies you can use to deal with them.
First, if you can, you should distance yourself from the person. Avoiding being around an emotional vampire is the best way to stop them negatively impacting you. However, this isn’t always possible.
If you can’t distance yourself, make sure you are practicing self-care. Taking care of yourself will allow you to feel more confident to set healthy boundaries. You will naturally be more assertive and protective over your time. So, if you don’t already, set aside time every day to focus on you. Pamper yourself, take care of your own needs first, and watch how your energy and tolerance changes for negative people.
If you are really struggling to handle an emotional vampire in your life, you can also turn to therapy. Seeking help from a professional will enable you to understand why you can’t deal with the problem, as well as provide solutions that can help.
Emotional vampires are everywhere today. It isn’t always possible to get away from them immediately, but there are things you can do in the meantime to protect yourself and your energy.
Criticism Is Not Always Meant to Be Negative
Do you struggle to handle criticism? While some criticism does come from a negative place, most of the time it is meant with love and good intentions. Unfortunately, even if the person criticizing you is coming from a good place, it can still hurt. If you struggle to handle criticism, here we’ll look at why it isn’t always a negative thing.
Differentiating Between Negative and Positive Criticism
There are a few ways to determine whether criticism is coming from a positive or negative place. It could be that you naturally respond badly to criticism of any kind. Many people are naturally defensive when they are met with criticism. So, the first step is to tame that initial negative reaction.
Try and view the criticism with an open mind. Remember, none of us are perfect! Could there be any truth in what the person is saying? Also pay attention to how the criticism is delivered. Do they give a reason for their feedback, or does it appear that they are nit-picking just to be difficult?
Criticism can come from a negative place, but often it is said to help us improve. Being able to recognize when somebody is being helpful, or just negative, is important.
The Role of Self-Esteem
Your self-esteem will largely determine how you react to criticism. The more confident you are, the less likely criticism is to affect you. Those who have a healthy dose of self-esteem will be able to learn from any criticism they receive without taking it too personally.
Think about your own self-esteem. Could it use some improvement? If so, focus on ways to build up your self-esteem and you’ll notice this has a direct impact on your ability to handle criticism. You’ll find a lot of awesome self-esteem building tips online.
Top Tips to Deal with People Who Criticize Instead of Critique
We’ve all been criticized when what we needed was an honest critique, with positive and negative points. As you work on building up your self-esteem, there are some other tips you can implement to deal with overly critical or negative people.
Staying calm is important. You may find when you are met with criticism, your initial reaction is anger. However, if you express anger, it isn’t going to help the situation. In fact, it could work in your critic’s favor! Remaining calm gives, you the ability to fully understand where the criticism is coming from and enables you to deal with it much better.
If the problems are coming from your boss, try and get to the bottom of where the feedback is coming from. If you feel it is still unjust, ask to speak to somebody higher up in the company. Sometimes we need an outsiders view to see what is really happening.
Overall, criticism is never nice to deal with. However, it isn’t always meant as a negative. Some criticism can help you to grow and become a better person. So, don’t be quick to dismiss any criticism thrown your way. Think about it with an open mind and decide whether there is something to be learned.
How Negativity Affects Your Job
When you have a negative mindset, it’s going to affect every aspect of your life. Your energy impacts those around you. So, if you bring a negative energy into the workplace, it’s going to have several repercussions.
Here, you’ll discover how negativity affects your job. You will also see how you can start to eliminate your own negativity in the workplace.
How does negativity impact your job?
There are a lot of ways negativity can impact your job. When you have a negative mindset, it can affect your performance, work relationships, and overall well-being.
The trouble with negativity, is that it attracts more negativity. Therefore, if you go into work with a negative attitude, it is going to rub off on your colleagues too. This will lead to a toxic workplace where nobody is happy and stress levels are increased.
As well as impacting the work environment, a negative outlook can also cause issues with performance. You may not apply for new opportunities as they arise, forcing you to miss out on a potentially better job. You will also notice your energy levels aren’t great, and the quality of your work will suffer.
These are just some of the ways negativity can impact your job. So, how can you fix it?
Ways to Become Less Negative at Work
There are ways you can become a more positive person at work. However, it might take quite a lot of effort to overcome your negative thinking. The best ways to combat negativity at work include:
• Identify the cause
• Think of something you are thankful for
• Talk to your boss
• Distance yourself from negative colleagues
Identifying the cause of your negativity is crucial. There could be numerous reasons why you have a more negative attitude at work. Maybe you keep getting passed over for a promotion, or you are bored of your current role? Identifying the cause enables you to figure out the best ways to combat it.
Whenever you feel yourself slumping into a negative mood, think of something you are thankful for. After all, it’s difficult to remain negative when you are thinking of something positive.
You may also find it useful to talk to your boss if you haven’t already. If you are unhappy with something, let them know. Ask them for a promotion, rather than waiting for one. You could also ask them for further training opportunities and more responsibility.
If you have colleagues who are negative, make sure you distance yourself from them. It could be that others are putting you in a negative mood, so distancing yourself from them will protect your energy and your positivity. If they see you with a more positive outlook, it will also help them to develop one too.
As you can see, there are several ways you can address your negativity in the workplace. Identifying the root cause is the key to finding the right solution. If you are just naturally negative, working on developing a more positive mindset will help. However, this will take time so don’t expect results overnight.
“Don’t be a victim of negative self-talk. Remember, you are listening.” ~ Bob Proctor
I’m author, publisher, and entrepreneur Connie Ragen Green and would love to connect with you. If you are new to the world of online entrepreneurship please check out my comprehensive training on how to set up Funnels That Click and learn how to gain an unfair advantage when it comes to building a lucrative online business.
Mary Pat says
Great article. One thing about talking with the boss. I would get myself together first and go with some suggestions for solutions and be willing to be part of them. I have a friend who “talks” with her boss. But it is just complaining and it is not helping her advance in that company. Here is to dropping negative thinking and opening to positive thinking and the life that can give you.
Excellent post on negative people and how they can infiltrate our lives in a harmful way if we aren’t aware of their influence. Becoming self aware and taking responsibility for what we allow in our lives can be life changing as you suggest.
Even though I am in my 6th decade I still feel the need to improve in this area, Different seasons of life bring new challenges. Thanks for your insights.